Hubby ask me why must people have kids? Do I want to havekids? For him, he feel if no kids, we can save a lot of money, every year wecan go travel, but he wanted to know how his child will looks like. For me, Ican have or without kids. Its not a must for me. Most people give the reason was its natural for married couple to have kids, parents wanted them to have kids. Some is because they like kids.
Its not easy to feed a child in Singapore. Money is a bigissue, how much must a family earn before you can really take care of a child?I believe we will use up all our savings, and what we earn every mth will alsobe use up, means we have no extra money to save. From childcare fees to food,wear….especially baby milk powder is so expensive. 1 mth can use up to or morethan S$1K. Still need to give both side parents money, home bills…
At the end of the day what do we have? So far no one cangive me a good answer why they want to have kids. Some choose not to have kidsas they feel they are happier without kids. They can save more money and buywhatever they want, do whatever they want, they have all the freedom. Those that have kids will complain how they feel, regret having kids.
So why have kids? Because everyone having kids so I alsomust have? Parents want to see their grandchild so have kids? Because it is astandard, married and have kids, it’s a procedure? Do I like kids? Not really very like, cute childens sure everyone like. Sometimes I find them very cute, sometimes I findthem very irrating. So I cant say I very like or don’t like at all. No answerhaha… So everytime I will only say its ok with me. Want or don’t want also can.Of cause I don’t mind to have a kid of mine. Most important is my hubby decision too, he want I am happy to have to. If he don’t want I am also ok.
Sometimes I also will wonder how my child will look like. Especiallywhen you see all your friends starting to have their own kids. What is thatkind of feelings of having your own kids. I may have a different thinking whenI have my own kids, most people say that. The feeling is very special. Anyway,leave it to nature, if have than have lol, if no also nevermind. If its mine itwill be mine.
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Hi Ah Pooh,
ReplyDeleteI am sad for our society, that it is so stressed with other things for survival, that especially the younger generations have lost their instinct for children.
Maybe the older generations don't know how to explain why it's so natural to have kids, because they don't need to think so much, and leave it to nature.
For young singles, I point out to them: in nature, if you wait until too old to have children, you die out, never existed.
Of course, in human society, not so scary, right?
Nothing to pass on to the next generation, since people nowadays are so selfish for themselves.
But in later years, as we grow old, all our enjoyments have no future.
One more day here, next day you die.
By that time, what's the point of all that fun?
Since there's no tomorrow, enjoy for what next?
That's why I heard that people at the end of their lives reveal their secrets, apologise and show regret.
Like Steve Jobs of Apple, when he was dying, wrote a book for his children to explain why he was so busy working, at the Apple he loved so much, that he did not spend more time with them.
So why regret?
Start from now, invest not just in insurance and retirement.
Not doing it for parents and in-laws, not doing it for gahmen and society, but doing it (in this more selfish time and day) for yourself.
I tell you why children are so fun to me, although they suck our money dry, are dirty and noisy and messy.
They are very pure, they don't do hypocrisy and sarcasm.
They are learning what I learnt as a kid, making mistakes and laughing away in fun.
I see what I did wrong as a child when I see them doing the same thing, with the same habits I have.
Then I try to help them get it right better, and I also learn to make myself a better person.
I can laugh, honestly, shiok-ly, with them.
This kind of investment with ongoing returns, why so many people don't want?
My mum once told me, "if you don't intend to have kids, why bother to get married?" Think about it, its true to a certain extend. If no married, no commitment. Hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteOk, back to having BB. Who dont wanna have a cute BB? When it comes to your own kid, you will feel that your kid is the CUTEST of all, no other kiddos can be compared to your own. Trust me, u will have such feeling when u start to have ur own kid. *ask Nix, he will tell u that Albany is so cute, so cute* LOL
If u dont wanna have a BB, true that u may have tonnes of money to spend on urself, holidays, blah blah blah.. But there are some stuff that cannot be bought over by money. 家庭的温暖, this cant be bought no matter how rich are you. Have you ever think of, what happen if you are old and need someone to take care and your partner is not ard anymore? Will you wish to have a kid to take care of you or you will wan to check in yourself to old folk homes.
Having a kid may be a headache to some, but, it surely will bring some liveliness into your relationship.
Please comment if you think im wrong.
ah Qin
dont know leh....sometimes want sometimes dont want...maybe because preparing for new house...like going to spend alot of $$ make me feel so sien
ReplyDeletethis is part & parcel of life. Its natural to feel a pinch in the pocket or rather A BIG HOLE, but build a lovenest is what we had been waiting for these 3 yrs.
ReplyDeletebuilding a lovenest, I believe doesnt hinder any bb plans. it is not like as if your income stops after u move into your new home.
Think again, going for more travelling trips are indeed pleasant experience on learning about a place. however, what did u gain from the trip? additional memories?? These are all 'non-physical' items.. Having a kid is like a fruit of you & aku. its 'something' u can see, u can be happy & angry (at times). If one day (touch wood) when you are old and you are suffering from dementia, can u remember those happy memories you gained from your holiday trips? I guess not. But, having a kid (pray hard), wat you may get in return is someone who you can depend on for the rest of your life other than aku.
I still feel that it is necessary to have a BB. the joy that they bring to you, is something that worth so much more than constant travelling.
考虑考虑吧..
ya lal....1 step at a time lol
DeleteAh Pooh, just want to point out that men and women after 35 will find out that time starts to run out.
DeleteI'm not saying must hurry.
I'm saying that it's very sad that life here nowadays makes people report punctually for work, but forces them to be very late in starting a family.
Our experience was, when we were going to get married in our late 20s, we were warned, "Don't try for babies until you are properly married."
But when we were finally ready in our mid-30s, the babies did not happen.
It took years to have our boys, and assisted conception, and we were considered lucky that they came along.
That is why in our 40s, our sons are still too young and too many years apart.
Imagine our later years when we grow really old.
I think younger people don't want to hear what I told you above.
But it's the same as doctors telling me to lose weight, exercise, don't eat processed carbohydrates, blah blah blah etc. etc. boring boring, because of my obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes.
Especially when in my heart I know I'll most likely never get slimmer for life, or stop eating like a Singaporean until I no longer can.
our age gap with our future kids will be very big... haiz what to do...
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