Better to be busy or have nothing to do

Is it good to be busy or better to be free and nothing much to do? Of cause its better to relax than having many things to do, can serve internet and play games. It would be good unless there is no one to supervise you, no boss around to see what you are doing, dont have so many eyes trying to spy you.

You may though no one is looking, but there is always people looking and you may not notice. Especially in open office where there isnt much privacy, too free and if you pretend you are busy, people will start to say things. So its best to be really busy in this kind of environment, problem is i am rather free, so many times i have to act busy. But how long can i act? Its really tiring to act busy. So whenever i got things to do, i will do it slowly.

Maybe the things I am doing takes only 1 hr to finish it at normal speed, I try using my slowest speed (provided the thing is not urgent) to do it, try to drag for afew hrs more. In my situation, its best to have something to do, in afew days time we are going to change our seating position, which i dont really like, as this new place has 0% privacy.

So its best to be busy, with work to do and I can take my time to finish it in time rather than being too free and try ot act busy. You will feel timing pass very slow, slow till you want to die. Unless I am in an environment where I have a lot of privacy, too bad, i dont have.

Something eerie happened

I was staying back last night to OT, it was almost 930pm when Colleague A came and ask me if I am going off. There was still another 2 colleague at the other end. I was still deciding weather to continue stay or go home. In the end I decide to go off with colleague A. Packed everything and went downstair with colleague A, we did not awitch off the lights as there are still people a level 2. If we are the last person to go off, we would need to switch off all the lights.

While we were at level 1, the office lights at level 1 are still on, colleague A went in to see who is still there, I follow too. Colleague B was still working.

Colleague A: Oiii….you still don’t want to go home ar?

Colleague B: Going off soon, another 10 mins, you all go first.
Colleague A: Ok.

Colleague A helped me to call cab while I call my senior to inform her I going off liao, as its 930pm and no more reports coming in. We walked to the main gate to wait for our cab and Colleague B called Colleague A saying she going off now and wait for her. While waiting for colleague B to come out, colleague said to me: "She siao one, left her alone downstair she still don’t want to go home." When I heard her say these words I was abit shocked.

I remember seeing another guy inside too, he was sitting at the desk at the end face facing down doing his tihngs, looks very busy, cant see the face, only his head and hair. He looks abit like Colleague C. Than colleague B join us, I notice she switch off all the lights on level 1, I looked at her.

Me: Why you off all the lights? Still got a guy inside.
Colleague B: What? No people inside, only left me alone.
Me: No, when we go in look for you, I saw a guy there, looks like colleague C.
Colleague A: No, when we go in only left her, no guy inside only her alone. Colleague C went off at 5:30pm.
Colleague B: Only me alone! I got check no people liao than I off all the lights!
Me: But I saw a guy sitting down there, if not colleague C than who is he?
Colleague A and B: Maggie your cab come liao..go..go…quickly go home.
Me: errr….ok…

I keep thinking I really saw a guy there, why both of them no saw him? Something wrong with my eye? Maybe my eye got problem.....maybe....

When i am old

Hubby always ask me how will we look likes when we are at the age of 60. I told him I have no idea. Hair all white, shagging skin, teethless and become shorter? Or we wont live to the age of 60? Hubby asked me why must we grow old? Can we grow old but remain our young looks? I told him he can go for plastic surgery from top to bottom haha. I believe everyone are afraid to grow old, but we don’t have a choice, this is life.

I also did wonder how I will look like when I am old, will i look very ugly? Will i become shorter? I am already very short. But most important is to be healthy. No point to live so long if your health is so weak and unable to do anything, cant work, cant walk, sick everyday, in and out of hospital. It would be so torturing, no only that, you will need to spend alot of money before you die. Will you have so much to spend?

If I were to die, I hope I could die in my sleep, without those suffering. We cant affort to be so sick here, we will never have enough money for medical. My mum told me her sister's husband relative had stroke, admitted to hospital and her hospital fees almost reached $20,000! As it was very serious, need to be hospitalize for a long period, that means more $$ will be needed. So stay healthy, don’t be sick. How you looks like when you are old is not that important afterall. No matter how good you look, without health, its mean nothing at all. Is weather you have the health to enjoy anot when you are old.

Actually I didn’t think of how I will look like when I am old. I think of when i die, where will i go to? Will i know what is happening around me after i die? Is there really heaven and hell? Every religon have their own beliefs. I have heard a lot, but are they true? Till now I don’t really know, after I die, where will my soul goes to? Will i be able to feel any pain? Will my soul be standing there looking at my own body? Haha..... Those that says will go to hell or heaven, have they seen it before? If not how do they know? Well, till now i am still wondering.

If there is next life, i want to be born in Taiwan or Australia... :)

Office Politics

Its  better to be in a big company or small company? What are the good and bad  benefits? I feel its not easy to work in a big company, the bigger the  company is, the more people you have to encounter. Every company, you have to face the politics inside.  When a company have too  many staffs, there will be a lot of problem. Its never easy to work with so  many people, althought most are in different department. Some people can be  very busybody, they cannot seems to mind their own business. Dont understand why they cant do their own work, why must create trouble and make other poeple life difficult.

Even in  different department, they don’t mind their own department business, they  would like to mind everyone's business, walk here and there looking around,  trying to spot if anyone make mistake so that they can go stab you. There is  always this kind of people, which best to keep your distance from them. Some can be so nice to you that you will feel scared, you wont know when they will stab you... you can see arrows shooting in the air hahaha.

No  matter how hard they try to befriend you, never trust them, or I can say  there is no one to trust at all. Everyone wear a mask, everyone looks so fact. I also wear a mask to work haha. Alway pretend to be friendly but actually i dont like that person. Some people like to be the bella of the company, not a problem, anyway none of my business. I am here to work only, every month got $$ take can liao.

Not that I am thinking in a "xiao ren" way,  this is the fact, everyone is selfish, for their own good they will by all  means try to climb up the ladder. You die your problem, as long as they  survice. I am also trying to survice too, everyone is my colleuage, but they  are really just colleauges to me, they will not be my good friend, as long as  in the same company, no one can be trusted. There will be also alot of  stories to hear in a big company. Its seems to be a secret, but its a open secret.

Like  who and who together, who likes who… even thought married, they still want to play around. There will be a  lot of gossips, you can see with your own eyes as most of the gossips are quite true, maybe added some salt and pepper. These people are damm free, its really a waste of time,  I only interested to  know if the bonus are good? Pay increment? The rest, leave me out. Although i not sure if i have kena shooted anot, you never know, you may know kena shooted but dont know who shoot you.

Good  about working in big company, you can learn a lot of new things, you can also  ask for internal transfer if you want to. I am wondering after a year or so, if i have a chance, which department to go to is the best? Or to remain in Admin dept. Big companies maybe more stable,  maybe wont need to worry too much on increment and bonuses? I am not very sure, but i hope its true.

So what about small companies? Some small companies i believe are very stable too. There will be less peoples, but also will have politics, but wont be as much as big companies. Is weather you can survice anot, sometimes small compines can have more politics than big company. I feel in small company, increment wont be that much or really depends on how well the company do. If your boss willing to give more.

 My previous company pay increment quite ok, bonus too, only the timing wise, need to work shift sat and sun too. In this new job, pay wise and timing not bad, sat sun off, not sure if able to get good bonus anot. For now, i have to work hard, be careful, dont trust anyone, i can survice longer haha.

Increment how much?

While we were having lunch today, a staff from Account side was telling us about her increment this year in Jan 2012, she got S$300 increment. Both me and my colleauge was: WOW! So much. To us was much, in the previous I never get such high increment, we don't dare to think much, got S$100 increment we very happy already. We don't dare to think of getting more than S$150. Was it really possible? This staff didn't reveal her pay before increment when we ask her, she says its confidencial. So it wasnt easy to guess. So we ask if its at least 2K? Haha…..she siad less than 2K, so if S$300 increment, her pay might be more than 2K now. Assume her pay was $1700 to $1800, as my colleague who just now she got S$1900. So we believe that staff pay around S$1700. With S$300 increment, now is S$2000. For a staff who join in last year in May, this year Jan increment, not even 1 year. She even told us if company hit target, bonus will be afew months, as last year they did not hit target, they only got 13 mth. An old staff told her she got 4 mths bonus. Actually is all heard, not sure if its true, so its best not to think too much. As when you put your hope too high, disappointment will be greater. I only hope for at least S$100 increment, 13th mth and bonus if have 1 mth, I very happy liao. If no bonus also no choice. We came at the wrong time haha.

My Dream Country

From young, i have always wanted to go to Australia. This was one of my fav country. Don't ask me why, cause i also don't know. So many countries out there, i just want to go Australia. Dont know if i have a chance to go anot.

Last few years i thought i have a chance to go, as my childhood friend said she wanted to go. But end up not going as she unable to apply leave. I was damm disappointed, i cant find any friend that want to go as most of them have been to australia before and have no intention to go again. So i could only give up my hope.

If compare Korea to Australia, i would rather go to Australia. I wanted to visit Gold Coast, Perth. Can go visit the nottis too.

Hubby want to go taiwan again. I am ok lal cause i love taiwan too. After that our flat will come, don't think we will have much money left to go Australia. Will i still have a chance to go? I just hope before i am too old i still have a chance to go Australia for a visit.

When do you want a baby?

People are asking when you want to have a baby? You are not young anymore, don’t have baby too late. Actually we knows, I also worry I will be too old to have a baby. Hubby have his own plan, wait for our flat to come, move in for a few months than try for a baby. At 1st i dont quite agree with him, as we all know, things dont alway goes as you plan. You want that period to have a baby doesnt means you will get it. I have heard many people talking about it.

Most are the same, have planning, but when try, its often different from what they plan, when they are trying to have a baby, its wasn’t successful, later on they give up on the idea and they got pregnant. At 1st they feel rather lost as they decide to stop trying for the time-being. Now they accept the fact they are going to be parents. I even know 1 girl, she was pregnant, she didnt want to have it as she feel she wasnt ready, her hubby feel since pregnant than just give birth. But the girl mind set was "NO", she really wasnt ready to be a mum, i think she end up eating too much medicine and the baby was gone. I wasnt very close to her so i didnt ask her about what actually had happened. But i feel its really sad, there are some who are trying hard but just couldnt get a baby. Maybe she really not ready to be a mummy and she is still quite young,not mature at all.

Hubby's ponit of view is that if I get pregnant now, it will be difficult for us as old people will say cannot do this cannot do that. We might get our flat this year, if I am pregnant I will not be able to move house etc… I believe we have many things to do on reno, buying of furniture and how we want to display our things. So its best to wait for all these to settle 1st. Move in than try to have a baby.

Money also plays a part. Its not easy and we need to spend quite alot on house. We need some time to rest awhile, having kids isnt going to be easy. I agree with him, although many voices saying no good for me, because of my age. But its not that simple, now its totally out of the question. With me just switch to a new job and still under probation, its totally impossible.

Even after confirmation, I cant right away get pregnant. At least afew months more. By that time i may have move in to my new house, than it will be the right time. Its also not very convinent for me now, i dont want to carry a big tummy to squeeze and push into the bus 965! Now i can squeeze and push my way in, run after bus, wait for bus till my blood vessel want to explode. Can i still squeeze and push my way into the bus with a big tummy?

As long as I move into my new flat in punggol, it will be easy for me. The company I work in provide transport from Sengkang, so I only need to travel by mrt from punggol to sengkang. In the morning, hubby can send to to Sengkang, at night I will go back by myself. I can even walk back to punggol. So in the end no matter what others say, we will continue to stick to our plan. Will i get pregnant anot by than, i will not think so much, let nature takes its course. If its mine, it will be mine.